[ She doesn't want that to get lost in his explanation, because it feels important. ]
It just also happened to be my partner's life. [ She rolls her shoulders back thoughtfully. ] You know, he told me that there was a cult in New York that was using your books as an inspiration, playing out the murders that you'd written. 'The Cult of the Word'.
Makes you wonder who inspired who, then.
[ She shakes that off for the moment before getting back to the topic at hand. ]
I'm not surprised that you're able to... pick up on things. Tor was able to pick up on things here as well, knew things about the people here that I didn't get to tell him. It's almost like... a writing group. Sharing your work every once in a while as you shape the narrative. Work on the characters. But here, you live the story, you are the character.
[ Saga's well placed words of wisdom are correct--Alan would spend more time mulling over how observant she is if he wasn't contemplating the theory itself. It makes sense, and it's enough for Alan to nod, hand moving to touch at his beard as he thinks.
It's not the first time the thought of who he is simmers up through the surface. Tom. Scratch. Real, not real--but he's here. That's what ultimately matters. He looks over, gaze resolute. ]
Matt Murdock and Charlie Dowd. Matt knows. [ His hand moves from his chin to his nose, pinching the bridge of it. ] I'm going to have to tell Charlie.
Fairly well. [ He sounds surprised, as if it's a new discovery. ]
There's not exactly a nice way to say 'Hey, I can see tiny pieces of whatever you're up to, hope you don't feel violated.' [ A glance over at Saga, fully aware of the fact that he'd pretty much done exactly that to the Seer. ]
They're clearer here, too. I think it might be because this place is a nexus.
[ Saga is not going into what he'd done to her. Because the seeing is the least of it and she's not getting into the other parts. That's not a 'right now' problem. ]
I've been thinking of the stars outside the ship as the Sea of Night from Grandfather's songs. I'm not sure I'm wrong about that.
I... had them, fortunately or unfortunately. Got me in some trouble too, as a kid. But I learned to just... keep my mouth shut about what I knew. Use it in other ways.
You're forgetting option three: just shutting the hell up about it.
[ Her tone is wry even if back then, it'd been frustrating as hell. ]
Just because I knew things didn't mean I had to tell anyone. Instead, I started trying to figure out ways to find out the information without just knowing it.
[ She'd always been a bit of a loner. It made it easier. Having people around were people she'd learn things about, things she couldn't share. She wasn't alone, but she'd tended to slide between one or two good friends that drifted in and out of her life. ]
No one who stuck around past college, anyway. Other than David, I mean.
David's great. He really stepped up when Logan happened. And he's so good with her. I'm... grateful. That he's such a good father. That he's supported me and my career.
[ But she definitely caught that last part. ]
I do. It's... it's good. I miss it. Them. [ a breath out ] But I've got a while before I can head back, I think.
Right now? Undecided. If it happens before I know exactly what I want, I'm going to offer it to John and Arthur and that group. See if I can help them out with their problem.
The other thought was offer it to Faden. Pretty sure it'd help everyone if the FBC got a good cleaning out.
[ Maybe by her third, she'll figure out if she really wants to force a meeting with her father. ]
[ She looks over at Alan, a little confused, before she shakes her head. Really, she should know better. ]
The fact that I don't know who, or what, I am. And here, I have time to figure it out. Time to experiment. People who can maybe help me.
[ She sighs and shakes her head. ]
I need to know what I need to know to keep my family safe and support Logan if she has... anything like this from me. She deserves better than to grow up being confused or worse, if some- if someone approaches her, she should have all the answers so she doesn't get them from him.
[ It makes sense when she words it like that. The only thing Saga really lacks at the moment is time--a luxury Alan had a lot of, despite the stakes of his sanity slowly dwindling. ]
Are you sure she has what you have? There might be a chance she doesn't and thinks you're...
[ He trails off, lips pulling into a thin, hard line. ]
...Not right, I guess. How much are you going to tell her?
I'm not sure of anything, honestly. [ A deep breath in. ] But I don't want to lie to her. And I don't want to hide things from her, not if I can help it.
[ She shakes her head. ]
I don't know what I'll be telling her. So maybe once I do, I'll know how much of it she should get. It's a problem for Saga of the Future for right now.
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[ She doesn't want that to get lost in his explanation, because it feels important. ]
It just also happened to be my partner's life. [ She rolls her shoulders back thoughtfully. ] You know, he told me that there was a cult in New York that was using your books as an inspiration, playing out the murders that you'd written. 'The Cult of the Word'.
Makes you wonder who inspired who, then.
[ She shakes that off for the moment before getting back to the topic at hand. ]
I'm not surprised that you're able to... pick up on things. Tor was able to pick up on things here as well, knew things about the people here that I didn't get to tell him. It's almost like... a writing group. Sharing your work every once in a while as you shape the narrative. Work on the characters. But here, you live the story, you are the character.
[ She looks to Alan. ]
Who'd you get?
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It's not the first time the thought of who he is simmers up through the surface. Tom. Scratch. Real, not real--but he's here. That's what ultimately matters. He looks over, gaze resolute. ]
Matt Murdock and Charlie Dowd. Matt knows. [ His hand moves from his chin to his nose, pinching the bridge of it. ] I'm going to have to tell Charlie.
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How'd Matt take it?
[ She's still figuring out how or what she wants to say given what she knows. ]
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There's not exactly a nice way to say 'Hey, I can see tiny pieces of whatever you're up to, hope you don't feel violated.' [ A glance over at Saga, fully aware of the fact that he'd pretty much done exactly that to the Seer. ]
They're clearer here, too. I think it might be because this place is a nexus.
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I've been thinking of the stars outside the ship as the Sea of Night from Grandfather's songs. I'm not sure I'm wrong about that.
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[ Alan wouldn't be surprised in the least. ]
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Then she wobbles a hand. ]
I think they know more than I realized. I'm not sure of anything beyond that.
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[ Ahti is a whole other can of worms. ]
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[ It's something she's thought about for a while. Her name means 'seer', after all. She's the Seer in every song. ]
Sometimes I wonder if that's why-
[ It's a little personal so she reformats. ]
I swallowed a lot of what my power told me for a long time. A lot of people don't like to hear the truth. And knowing it can be hard.
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It's... difficult to fit in when you're growing up, too. Having mystical powers probably wouldn't have helped.
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[ Adults get very defensive when kids know their secrets. ]
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You over compensate for it? Teacher's pet it, or did you act out?
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[ Her tone is wry even if back then, it'd been frustrating as hell. ]
Just because I knew things didn't mean I had to tell anyone. Instead, I started trying to figure out ways to find out the information without just knowing it.
It's probably what got me started on my work.
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You have anyone that ever helped you out? I wound up getting into trouble, but my friend Barry usually got us out. Real smooth talker.
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[ She'd always been a bit of a loner. It made it easier. Having people around were people she'd learn things about, things she couldn't share. She wasn't alone, but she'd tended to slide between one or two good friends that drifted in and out of her life. ]
No one who stuck around past college, anyway. Other than David, I mean.
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[ Alan's smile thins, not out of any particular emotion but just due to the serious turn the conversation is taking. ]
He really seems to care about you and your kid. That's good. You've got one hell of a support system now, at least.
[ Including Alan. He's got your back, Saga! ]
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[ But she definitely caught that last part. ]
I do. It's... it's good. I miss it. Them. [ a breath out ] But I've got a while before I can head back, I think.
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What's your second wish?
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Right now? Undecided. If it happens before I know exactly what I want, I'm going to offer it to John and Arthur and that group. See if I can help them out with their problem.
The other thought was offer it to Faden. Pretty sure it'd help everyone if the FBC got a good cleaning out.
[ Maybe by her third, she'll figure out if she really wants to force a meeting with her father. ]
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[ There's nothing accusatory in his voice--Alan's genuinely confused. ]
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The fact that I don't know who, or what, I am. And here, I have time to figure it out. Time to experiment. People who can maybe help me.
[ She sighs and shakes her head. ]
I need to know what I need to know to keep my family safe and support Logan if she has... anything like this from me. She deserves better than to grow up being confused or worse, if some- if someone approaches her, she should have all the answers so she doesn't get them from him.
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Are you sure she has what you have? There might be a chance she doesn't and thinks you're...
[ He trails off, lips pulling into a thin, hard line. ]
...Not right, I guess. How much are you going to tell her?
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[ She shakes her head. ]
I don't know what I'll be telling her. So maybe once I do, I'll know how much of it she should get. It's a problem for Saga of the Future for right now.
[ I've got enough of my own. ]
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